Chocolate Kylies

 My friend and I (we're both male and straight) were disucssing Kylie as we often do. There were cliches in our conversation at first about how amazing Kylie had gone from geeky girl next door to the amazing pop star she is but it soon disgressed into how great it would be if she baked a cake for us and how wonderful it would be for Kylie to be a state, (which she is the head of) with its own currency, airport, shopping centre, post office, ice cream parlour and tea rooms. My friend had been to an exhibition of her stage outfits which made me slightly envious and queeny with er...more envy.Above all it's her pop records we love.
Her new single is everything that her last album largely wasn't. It's classic bittersweet Kylie, wrapped up in a shiny red sweet wrapper and dipped in Belgian chocolate, dusted with Italian chocolate, placed into shortbread and carefully had that wrapper extracted so you don't choke too much on how pretty and nostalgic it is to have her back. When the video comes out and her new tour begins it will inspire wide eyed fans of all persuasions, unthreatened by her sensual appeal (in a good way. Sensual but unattainable. How perfect relationships between fans and performers should be).

It's a shame that she hangs around with that William Baker who made that documentary about her. He's quite awful. He has no idea about making documentaries and doesn't do Kylie any favours, presenting her as a teenage queen of the desert, a kind of camp Aussie Abba fan who never grew up. Her fragility of course always comes through, as it does naturally, but Baker fucks it up for her but I don't want to use this 'light' blog to dwell on that. Look at this. Kylie as Agent Smith in a pleasant version of The Matrix Reloaded.

But what is it that I love about her? It's not just the fact that 'On a Night Like This' is one of the best pop records of all time or that she's made half a dozen iconic videos, but I respond to stuff like the flop of Deconstruction's albums. Which contain some interesting ideas among the missed opportunities. For me Confide in Me was the turning point, a mature, lush pop single that could have been released in the 50s by Marylin Monroe or Edith Piaf or even Doris Day. Actually I don't even know why I described Edith Piaf or Doris Day as lush. Sorry. I never bought the whole hype of Spinning Around and her short shorts...not untill On a Night Like This, with a video featuring Rutger Hauer came out.


So yes, Kylie is ace. I've made a compilation of some of her material, album tracks, singles and remixes and even designed my own CD cover. Of course I do this for many of my favourite artists when I have too much time on my hands. She's the one...love her, love her, love her...