Cheese On Toast

This is how I prepare cheese on toast. If you follow my instructions you too will enjoy cheese on toast. It's not a matter of slapping on any old cheese onto any old slab of bread. Never. It's not a case of being a cheese expert. As the PG Tips Chimp once said 'It's the taste!' What you will need:

Cheese knife. Any old sharp knife could do but the addition of the cheese knife, a good one,  is more for appearance and confidence. 

Batch loaf. White probably. Unsliced. Or:

Cheese obviously. Cheddar. Medium is good but mature would be tastier. Don't be cheap or be daft enough to pay through the nose.

Oh one more thing...

The pepper mill is important. It's how it grinds and distributes the pepper. 

Now. Let's make some cheese on toast.

1. Switch the radio on, (BBC 6 music, I tend to listen to) put the kettle on and get your coat off. I'm presuming you've just returned from the shops. If your kitchen doesn't have a lot of light turn that on also. If you can't bear the radio then kill it. Better to have a focused mind. Get the grill on. Make a cuppa.

2. Make sure the cheese has been at room temperature for at least an hour. At least. I don't know if it's because it allows the cheese to breath and the flavour to develop, but for me, it makes it damn easier to cut the cheese. 'Why don't you just use a cheese grater?' some of you dullards are probably thinking. Sorry folks but the texture of the toasted cheese just won't feel good when sinking you're teeth in. It'll be all uneven, mis-shapen and look displeasing to the eye. I'm not making a fucking advert for Cathedral City Cheese. Actually it does taste better when it's been at room temperature.

3.I presume you've scrubbed your hands with hand-wash. And the knife is clean? Sure? Good. Carefully  slice the block of cheese into about a dozen liberal parts, enabling you to mask the bread with roughly two layers of cheddar. Obviously you have to have a thick slice of bread or two. But, hang on a cotton pickin' minute... what am I thinking? I've forgotten...

Bread knife.




4. Place under the grill for around four minutes. Have another gobful of tea. Look out the window. Yep, the world's still there. The cheese must bubble and 'start' to stain. When it does. Switch the grill off and allow the cheese on toast to cook. 

5. Place onto a nice stylish plate. Like a black square one which is all the rage these days. Allow to cool for about 30 seconds when you take it out of the grill. Now add a little twist of black pepper. Yeas. I mean, yes.

All the rage these days.

There you go. Enjoy.